sketches again

college life has become more and more boring and mundane lately......poor management and lousy lecturers are giving me hell......gosh not to mention that although the semester exam is just round the corner, but can u imagine some of my lecturers can't manage to finish the syllabus in time....lolzz...ya this problem is very common nowadays......especially for us who are staying in this so called information era......exam's coming in 5 weeks time and still the syllabus is not complete yet....and u noe wat?? the lecturer is blaming us for not cooperating with her to finish it......and so extra classes rise to the scene....hoping to race against time.....so that the lecturer have enough time to 'relax'...plus every month there will be a new lecturer teaching us..u can imagine how bad the situation is......hmph....what a bunch of bullshit.....anyways....from last week onwards i have to stay backfor some study group thingie until late evening and time is running out.....every day i can feel that my body is crying for 'salvation' haha......to be frank this is very tiring.....and stressfull.....but luckily i can STILL manage to cope up with the progress......though it is very frustrating sometimes......luckily my bio lecturer is very kind and helpful....she is the best lecturer in the whole college.....her name's jamie kok mei lin......same hometown as me in malacca.......ok....lets change the subject.....romance......oh gosh....again???haiz i just can't let this thing to be silent can i??kk.......finally knew the REAL reason why........she thinks that i thinked too much about her...on the bad side........i mean....this is normal for a person who loves someone to think much right??it is obvious that if u fall in love with somebody with your heart......u will always think of her and whatever she does meant a lot to you......unfortunately she don't understand this...and her gestures and emotions and also the way she talk to me gives me the negative message.....for what i noe is she doesn't have the slightest feeling towards me and all the while i've been a clown or a puppet......(yeah i think that is the best word to describe the situation)...she says that i didn't add her in facebook but come on....how am i going to face her again?? i seriously didn't have the GUTS to do that man....yeah she may have a lot of bfs but how she treats them i don't know and i wouldn't wanna know....haha....some more she keeps her grudge about what i think of the present that she gave me......a mannequin.......a wooden puppet some sort of thing......she said that since i love anime.....MAYBE i will take up DRAWING anime characters.....ARRGH!!!that is a point to prove that it is a lame excuse!!!come on.....u know me for 5 years and that i don't like drawing!!i would prefer her to give me a small present like a key chain or something that has a clear symbol or message.....but not this......oh man.....it hurts......some more my classmates and even my parents think that the mannequin symbolises 'dumb puppet' and created a good joke out of it.....they insulted me by saying"after 4 years u care for her....this is what u get in the end??" oh shit man......my heart broke to pieces......she keeps complaining about these two matters but i can tell u that the time that i have wasted just to talk to her and help her get along with everything.....mainly studies.....and my concern towards her....haizzz.....i don't know man.....yeah she doesn't have any feelings towards me but she should know that from the start.....not by saying that everything i did is what a friend should do......do u know this is kinda hurt??haha....maybe when she got dumped by her lover through the same way only then she will know huh??and that will b too late...my other friends continue pursuing their studies at their own pace and as for me....i will b leaving for India this september....or maybe end of august....thought of having a farewell party......see how first....klah....tired already.....i will stop here....this is what i am gonna say for now....nothing more...nothing less.....till then.....nitezzzz